Religion Desk: Both parents want to raise their children as their own. Sometimes mothers and fathers have different dreams as their dreams about their children are the same. If the views of the parents are not the same, there is also a difference of opinion between the two regarding child rearing. Sometimes it even reaches the level of monopollution.

islam

Islam advises both parents to consult each other in this case, so that their emotional conflict does not affect the child.

Who is responsible for child rearing?

According to Islam, the father is the main guardian of the child. Therefore, all the responsibility of the child rests on the father. It is mentioned in the Holy Qur'an, 'The duty of the father is to support them properly.

No one is given a task beyond his capacity. No mother shall be harmed for her child and no father for his child.' (Surah: Baqarah, verse: 233)

Mother's opinion is also important

Although Islam assigns the primary responsibility of child rearing to the father, it has given special importance to the opinion of the mother. As Allah says, 'If they choose to abstain from breastfeeding by mutual consent and advice, then there is no guilt on any of them.' (Surah: Baqarah, verse: 233)

The mentioned verse highlights the importance of mutual opinion of mother and father in child rearing.

In another verse, Allah reminds the child of the mother's sacrifice and suffering and says, 'I have commanded man to be kind to his parents. His mother conceived him with pain and gave birth to him with pain.'
(Surah: Ahkaf, verse: 15)

Commentators say that in the mentioned verse, Allah has specifically mentioned the suffering of the mother. It means that mother will get priority in respect and evaluation.

The welfare of the child depends on the advice of the parents

Allama Ibn Qasir (R.A.) explained the mentioned verse, "If the mother and father of the child wish to stop breastfeeding before the child reaches two years of age, they consider it to be in the child's best interests, consult each other about it and agree, then any of them No fault.' The lesson of the verse is that in this case the advice of one person is not enough. It is not lawful for one to impose it on another without consulting with another. Others, including Sufian Saori (r.a.) have said the same. Advice on the child includes precautions and welfare for the child. It is also a special favor of God to the servant. Because Allah has given special restrictions on the parents in the upbringing of the child and ordered them to be benevolent to the child and to themselves.' (Tafseer Ibn Kasir: 2/377)

So mutual advice of parents is very important in determining the course of child rearing and his future life.

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Conflict leads the child astray

Quarrels and disputes between parents have a negative impact on the tender mind of the child. So parents should avoid it. Imam Ghazali (RA) said that a child is a deposit with his parents and his heart is like a precious gem. It is as pure and pure as a blank canvas. It is suitable for any image and can be rotated anywhere. If he is taught good deeds, he will be fortunate in this world and the hereafter. And if he is used to evil deeds or despised and ignored like an animal, he will be miserable and destroyed. Child maintenance is to teach him good manners and manners and good character traits.

(Al-Waziz Fit-Tarbiyah, Page-2)